Patty
Description and Origin Patty is the God of Coffee, Tea, Computers, and the Dab. She rules over a kingdom called the Brew Crew in the 2065 Lactose Galaxy. She has many followers and peasants that reside in her kingdom of heaven. Her most memborable events are killing Hitler with the Despacito and ending slavery by saying "We all a little pink on the inside fam." With her loyal companion, Johnny Flesh, she brings, peace, and happiness to her kingdom. Patty was created by the 12 Elders Of The Universe in 2 days on the planet Saturn. She landed on Earth thousands of years ago and left her space shuttle behind, which is now called Stonehenge. On planet earth, she was worshipped as a God among mortal men. She traveled to China and created Coffee and Tea using tree sap and her saliva. Thanos Car eventually tracked Patty down and demanded a duel. This duel is called the War of 1812. Thanos Car got a few lucky shots, but Patty, in great desperation, yelled "Deported!", dabbed and yeeted Thanos Car into oblivion. The dab created a massive tsunami which engulfed all of Russia and brought death to millions of citizens. After game ending Thanos Car, she baked a cake and sneezed on it. This cake was transformed into the 2065 Lactose Galaxy. When she left Earth, she left behind a formula to create computers and smartphones. Steve Jobs found this formula and got rich off of Patty's invention. When she found out, she gave Jobs a cancer kick and made Johnny Flesh eat Jobs alive. Her current whereabouts are unknown. Weapons/Powers Coffee Spit-Patty can spit flaming hot coffee to burn her victims Pretzel Darts-Patricia has a unlimited amount of pretzels which she has transformed into darts. She once used these darts to kill the clone of Phil Swift and Hitler's child Flamethrower-Patty occasionally uses her flamethrower. She once used this weapon to kill Frosty the Snowman and burn down Anartica The Dab-The most powerful of all Patty's powers. Level scale is unknown, but believed to be over 90,000 Cookie Darts-She threw a cookie dart at Mao Zedong and almost killed him Lightsaber-Patty used a pink lightsaber to kill Lizard Mark Zuckerburg, Osama Bin Laden, and Darth Vader Spatula-Weapon used for picking things up or killing Squidward Vocal Chords-When Patty transforms into "Lil Pat-Pat" she uses her vocals to destroy her enemies Soul Crusher-Patty yells "Yeow Yee" and her opponents souls will be crushed and transported into her kidney Lämp-Patty can make her skin glow as bright as the Sun, which attracts every Moth in existence to do her bidding. She destroyed Uranus and a village in Japan using moths, which led to Japan bombing Pearl Harbor Wine Into Water-Patty can morph wine into water Patty Party-The party don't start till Patty walks in How To Summon Patty Place bottle of Flex Tape, cat food, or cracked laptop in the middle of a room with a circle of salt around the object. Stand outside the circle, t-pose, and chant "Patty!" three times. Patty should appear and if she attacks you, you will not survive. So do not make any sudden moves to startle her. Offer Patty a brisket or cup of coffe as a peace offering or chant "Shama lama ding-dong!" Warning, she may not always appear and if you do not have peace offering, she will rip you apart and feed you to Johnny Flesh.Category:Funny Characters